im using his hp to post this.
kinda cool.
=p

Hmm..
Actually things went on smoothly since tat day..
But why?!!?
Its happened again??!!
I really hate myself!!
I really realised my mistake le.
Now i dont feel like enjoying or watever i used to told him.
Now all i want is to be with him.
I dont noe am i silly or wat.
But i noe tat is my final decision.
I noe he is tired to forgive me again n again..
Im really sorry...
Will i get this one more chance?
Or am i really taking for granted?
Hais...

things getting better?

or not?

i totally got not idea.

i dont wana recall when's the date when we both cried over the phone for an hr.

if he really choose our relationship to remain like this.

i got no comment.

anw..

he did asked me out for dinner aft tat night.

and tat night..

he lost 'our couple ring'

he even asked me 'how?'

well how?

search for it lahh..

i asked him 'will u search for it?'

he ans 'of coz lahh will search for it..'

wat does he mean by tat?

actually i do noes tat he still love me as much.

but i really dont wana be so tat confident.

coz if not i'll be the one crying over and over again.

so now..

we're still as usual contacting each other..

calling each other..

msging each other..

but i dont noe wat's our r/s..

and i dont wana ask him tat..

let it be watever we are now.

at least 'so-call' he got no right to be angry with me.

he got no right to scold me.

he got no right to quarrel with me.

at least im happy.

(:

i noe tat he can be my dream husband in the future.

perhaps now he cant be my perfect bf.

but now till future its still a long way to go.

well..

depends on fate ba during this long way.

(:

i glad tat i have great friends n sis ard me.

1 thing tat i will nv regret in my life.

thanks for replying my nonsense msg late in the night.

spending ur time 'counseling' me.

appreciate!

*loves

(:

well i do admit initially im kinda stubborn.

钻牛角尖

i sees no tmr for me..

but now?

i dont care abt wat will happen next!

as long as im enjoying and im happy RIGHT NOW!

(:

just caught movie with fadz faliq nad and nia.

we watched jennifer's body.

best!

and i felt no burden!

(:

finally back to work again tmr aft 3days off.

and im gg to off another 3days aft tmr!

wahh!

=D

im so busy.

with work.

with friends.

with enjoyment.

with everything!

SO MUCH things happened.

in a mth.

happy.

sad.

perhaps more to sad and unhappy to me.

14oct and 15oct

had our long-ago-planned chalet.

i treasured the 2d1n we spent tgt.

it really made me miss our marina days so tat much.

i believe the rest misses those days too.

we played.

we crazed.

we talked.

we laughed.

*loves!

(:

18oct

met dear.

worked graveyard 2days b4.

so i was kinda tired.

on tat day we're alr not in very good terms.

coz i assume he was unhappy with me gg home late aft my chalet.

so i dont dare to talk too much or to provoke him.

when its time to have dinner.

all i said is 'i got no idea where'

he fed up.

sent me home right away!

isn't is ridiculous?

hais.

things started to get worse.

but still..

i try to remain positive.

19oct

i helped to rush here and there.

taking bus is not free k..

to get ur things done.

tired de leh..

u seems like dont appreciate it.

no thank you..

n u always says i took thing for granted.

den wat r u doing to me?

20oct

went out with nia aft work.

y r u unhappy abt it?

i think i still have my right to have my freedom ba.

21oct to 23oct

dear like nv bother me at all.

to me.

he is my precious.

but who am i to him?

i dont noe.

i just feel i dont get wat i suppose to have.

y other couple can?

but i cant.

felt so hopeless.

suddenly i feel like wanting back single life.

feel like giving up.

24oct

went out aft work.

initially i msg him.

but as usual.

no reply frm him.

so i wana 'test' will he look for me?

will he worry abt me?

i divert all my calls.

finally he msged me asking where am i.

i called him back.

wat i got?

scoldings.

and he hanged up the call.

wth lor.

damn ridiculous.

i havent even got the chance to talk.

hais.

25oct

totally no mood to work.

cry in the bus.

cry in the train.

i dont gave a damn to those to stared at me.

tot can pretend not feeling well.

so tat i can escape the batam trip the next day.

coz initially my thinking is..

i got no mood to enjoy liao.

but second tot..

i better to out and relax myself.

if not i stay at home i'll think more cry more.

26oct

patch outing to batam.

tot he'll be there.

at least i can share my sadness.

but expected he wont go de lahh.

so forget it.

anw i saw chongmeng there.

lols.

shocked!

aft 1 whole day at batam.

played go kart.

went massage.

went shopping.

i enjoyed.

(:

came back and reached sg.

went over to dear's workplace.

tot can see him.

can talk to him.

i reached.

msged him.

he asked me to go home.

wat is my feeling?

i got no more feeling le.

i really dont noe wat to do.

29oct

cp crew outing 2009.

the worst crew outing i ever organised.

coz the crews are not supporting.

bored.

i almost cried just b4 the outing.

and cath realised it.

argh!

im ok lah.

anw i had lotsa fun too!

=D

i did wat i normal usually did.

msg him.

wake him up.

bla bla bla.

but still.

he is so cold towards me.

yup.

i really did my best.

i got the tots of giving up.

but i cant.

i really love him so much tat i cant bear to give him up.

im smiling laughing daily.

but who noes deep in my heart im crying so hard?

endless work tasks for me.

i really getting older very fast.

dont stress me le lahh!!

ytd i went over to paragon to help dear get E63 @ $48.

well he's not working ytd and today he's off and no need to back camp.

so he came to fetch me at paragon!

den we went bedok for dinner.

happy tat he came to fetch me.

hees.

=p

today not working.

b4 i noe today dear not gg camp.

i alr told saniyah tat im free to go out.

but when i noe dear not gg camp.

of coz lahh i chose to go out with dear.

so i told saniyah im not free le.

opps!

=x

met dear in thr afternoon.

exploring his new E63.

lols.

nv get to use the hp first.

i other time den use ba.

haa.

den we went bugis to have steamboat for dinner.

(:

not working today.

slept till abt 3pm den wake up.

its finally my off day aft 6working days.

tired~

yupp..

did not went anywhere and stayed at the whole day.

perhaps i did a very bad thing today.

well..

at 630pm.

fadz called me.

tot he wana ask me out for dinner or wat.

nv ever expected he will tell me this news..

he got transfered out.

to lido.

omg~

im sad for him.

and sad for the rest of them at marina.

y he will oso end up this kind of fate?

hais.

again..

my biggest worry is how are the rest gg to work and survive happily aft fadz got transfer out..

somemore tmr is his last day.

he is worst den me.

at least i got 2weeks notice.

him?

2days notice nia..

i find WTH lor.

aft fadz call and tell me.

i call haffis immediately.

i told haffis tat fadz become our 'orchard store gang' alr.

me-centrepoint

dennis-heeren

fadz-lido

haffis-forum

francis-forum

y most of the x-marina gang all got transferred to the orchard gang?

hmm..

good?

bad?

i dont noe.

i just hope tat fadz will happy at his future store ba.

jia you bro!

(:

my dear hor..

suddenly wana buy nokia E63 so much.

m1 is having promotion now.

$48.

he is so gan jiong until want me to help him get the phone tmr.

coz he scared over the weekends the promotion will over.

okie lor..

if tmr nothing goes wrong aft work.

will go over to paragon to get it.

and i can get used it first!

=p

let me start frm 2days back..

sat~

worked opening.

went back home aft work.

dear actually said dont wana meet coz he's tired and he wana meet his friends bla bla bla.

fine.

tired of arguing abt this topic again and again.

so i just guai guai stayed at home lor.

but abt 9pm dear called me up!

said ok he'll bring me to watch F1.

of coz im happy lah.

reached city hall.

damn lot of ppl.

we onli get to hear F1.

the security this yr is much much more.

so cant watch illegally like wat i did last yr.

haas.

well..

hear and feel the excitment awhile.

and went home le.

yupp.

he still wana go meet his friends.

i did not object and let him go.

reached home.

commentted sthg on msn.

den went to slp.

sun~

worked at 2pm.

surprisingly..

haffis msged me asking am i ok?

i really got no idea y did he ask me tat.

tot he hear sthg from whoever abt me.

den i think back.

recently i did nth wrong at work.

den wat he noe?!

i really dunno wat he noe.

i kept on asking him.

he said he hear nth.

just wana noe am i ok or not..

actually the fact is..

recently im really not ok.

but i tell no one.

except my dear lah!

how the hell he'll noe?

with my great imaginations and all my wild guesses.

i think he get to noe my feelings thru my msn msg?

i dont noe.

tats wat i guessed.

in the end i told him im not ok.

but not abt work.

not abt bf.

although he doesnt noe wat happen to me.

he still gave me words of encouragement.

im really felt so touched.

sincerely thank you..pakcikk

(:

today~

attached to juntion8.

kuyah dennis oso went there.

so long aft marina i worked with him!

finished at 6pm.

haffis and faliq came and look for me.

they wana bring me go walk walk to cheer me up.

went starbucks had a drink.

i wana order the drink tat i wanted!

cant rmb the name again!

called saniyah but she nv ans!

argh~

so i used my memory of wat saniyah told me.

i ordered "raspberry milk frappucino"

all the baristas looked at me with questions marks..

"wat drink is tat?"

den 1 of the baritas asked me "is it raspberry cream frappucino?"

i was like "OHH YA raspberry cream!!"

i was so paisehh lor...

=p

again..

thank you for ur effort..pakcikk

(:

im tired.

i told them im not physically tired.

im mentally tired.

but now..

im tired of crying.

cried till tired.

i just wana do things tat i wana do.

but seems like i dont have the chance.

y am i always being neglected?

i just feel tat i so unimpt..

today worked opening.

hate working opening coz i get to slp abt 2hrs?3hr?

did sthg crazy at work just now.

gobal went cold storage to buy 1 watermelon.

he cutted into pieces.

and half of it.

he blended in juice!

lols.

we're really trying to be funny.

if bosses get to pass by or wat..

all of head will be rolling on the floor!

im really not in the mood for anything n everything...

all i can conclude is..

i have a freaking and shity life~

but dont worry.

im alright.

i just wana destress.

i wana show everyone tat im a successful person in future.

sounds childish.

but im really serious abt it.

im really jealous and envy those who have wonderful life.

who's life there's nothing to worry abt.

when will be my turn to enjoy tat kind of life?

worked d day today.

received a nonsense call at 0730.

asked me nonsense qns.

bth him.

so bad ahh me.

we're colleagues ok..

=x

complete my crew schedule.
i already done 80% on my graveyard shift on sunday.

today down crew..

AGAIN~

always...

hais..

so had to helped out on floor..

i really dont know how to solve this prob.

i had been stressing abt this issue for abt 3mths ba.

until the aunties there said i slimed down le.

=x

they said 4mths ago when i just transferred to centrepoint.

they see me clubby clubby de.

now..

no more clubby le.

good?

or bad?

i went back to marina just now..

even saran oso said i slimed down le.

i said of coz lahh..

i at marina no much stress.

work happily eat happily.

but when im at centrepoint?

work stressfully and no mood to eat.

of coz lahh will slim down..

hais..

i dont realised i had slimed down.

but i did realised i getting older and older le.

well..

stress till old...

):

finished my schedule.

passed it to louise at dhoby mrt.

den went back to store.

sent something to forum with suresh.

coz the 2 of us did something wrong and need to settle it by this mth end.

im angry with him!

i got help frm haffis myself personally.

not frm louise thru regina!

ok!

i got a feeling that he tot im boss' pet!

im not ok!

i asked help frm haffis myself de hor!

argh~

another time BTH him..

reached forum.

i was talking to haffis halfway..

den..

suresh did something tat made me throw face!!

i turned n looked at haffis!!

my facial expression to him is:

IM PAISEH!!!

another another time BTH him!!!

talked to haffis abit longer.

abt ppl ard us..

i just cant understand y ppl will do things tat out of their mind and ruined their career?

aft short chit chat.

i took bus frm forum back to store.

coz im too tired to walk back!

while i was talking to haffis.

suresh alr walked back to store himself first.

when i reached store.

he havent reached yet.

haas.

i grabbed my bag n i chao lor.

cant be bothered.

=x

ya as i mentioned i went back to marina.

james oso went back!

so happy to see him.

suddenly i missed him.

missed those days when he was my boss.

):

sad to say..

most of them are complaining abt the new bosses.

hais..

pity them lahh..

but wat i can say is..

in the past james is far too kind towards them le.

so i think they still not used to it ba.

but i think the new boss oso far to much lahh..

hais..

aiya i dont care lahh!

im alr stressed abt my own prob le.

so no time and dont wana stress abt other ppl's prob!!

den met saniyah at city hall and went home tgt with her.

wana go slp le..

tired aft one whole day!

nights all~

(:

not working today.

nv go out.

stayed at home the whole day.

woke up ard 4pm.

lazed ard.

did nothing.

(:

well well well...

i had a GREAT weekend!

(:

met up my dearest jies for dinner on fri aft my opening shift.

(thanks robert who changed shift with me!)

not uploading pics.

coz yun, xiu and lu had uploaded in their blogs.

and all uploaded the same pics.

so pointless for me to upload.

LOLs!

hmm yupp..

all of us are heading towards different goals and aims.

our sisters love last forever (:

same..

i love and appreciate ladies talk tat night.

glad to hear stories how my 2 jies are taken =p

glad to share with my sis too how's my love life has been throughout these 2yrs.

how i changed.

how we made our r/s better.

yes im really an attention seeker.

not coz im loud.

but its my character.

perhaps iris is right ba.

i nv shared so much.

i just felt so *GLAD!

we nv felt drifted apart although we dont meet up often.

tats real sister love ba (:

anw..

i wana share to candid shots i took tat day =p

"the 3 gong gongs"

what the 2 of u try to siam?

sat worked 2pm to 11pm.

long time ever since i talked abt my work.

had been 4mths and 1wk at centrepoint le.

kind of used to it le.

no more grumblings le.

coz its really the fact le.

well i can say im more stress.

coz louise really want us to be responsible for everything.

or i think in the past james is too lenient le ba.

im trying to learn more things.

im trying to learn from mistakes.

im trying not to repeat mistakes.

just hope wish and pray to go for next level (:

sun graveyard shift.

thanks dear sending me to work.

*loves!

mon not working.

went bugis with dear.

we went pai pai.

den i went to get a new phone for myself!

finally i owned a PINK hp!

sony ericsson T707

(:

i suddenly came across my 21st bdae card from them.

so touched.

8mths plus ago i teared when i first received while i read the card.

and now i read it again.

i teared again.

i rmb the feeling how shocked and surprised i were when i received the present.

i teared.

y am i still tearing aft so long?

happy 24th.

(:

only god noes how i feel.

only god hears im crying.

hais.

watched bandslam with nadhirah and saniyah.

watched imagine that online.

went ion orchard with dear ytd.

its so WOW~

(:

its really great having you by my side.

sorry for my stubborn temper.

=x

another 6days to our great day.

(:

acc dear to ICA and jurong medical centre today.

watched another movie online.

the hangover.

=DD

how i wish he was hearing to 933 last night.

wat chong qing said was so true.

sometimes small little things he did or said does hurt me.

but he dont realised.

shld i tell him?

but even if i tell him.

he will say im just too over sensative on everything.

he will said im unreasonable.

he will ask me to be more understanding.

ok fine.

16aug sun

had a wonderful sunday with dear.

he ignored me while i talking photo!

we went marina square to watch where got ghost.

kinda funny.

okie lah.

=D

17aug mon

went for my dental appointment at 0915.

yup dr yeo advise me to remove my wisdom tooth.

argh~

my operation on 3sep 1130am.

hope dear can go with me.

(:

my mouth really hurts now.

i cant bite anything.

all i can do when i eat is just swallow.

hais.

im wondering y im so pitiful.

sobs..

):

went jb to attend siti's and sani's wedding as i promised.

when the couple arrive.

siti look so gorgoeus!

they looked to nervous!

even when they smile looked to weird.

haas.

(:

aft attended their wedding ceremony.

i went PC fair with them.

my first time gg to jb's PC fair.

their PC fair is 6times smaller then sg's!

lols.

but same its real packed!

i bought:

1 4gb kingston thumbdrive - RM28 (they call it pendrive in msia)

1 foldable/portable cooling fan - RM15

2 earpiece - RM15each (1 for me and 1 for dear)

i better get something back for dear if not i'll get naggings tat i spent so much.

=p

came back sg abt 7pm.

met dear.

den he brought me to bedok and had late dinner.

dear thanks for all ur plannings.

i really do look forward for OUR future.

love you!!

=DD

i have been watching lots of movies online recently.

=p

the proposal

harry potter and the half-blood prince

the uninvited

my sister's keeper

i love you, beth cooper

enjoyed.

(:

well again i asked myself?

y am i so busy?

y am i continously 5days and only entitle 1off day?

isn't it suppose to be normal working style?

perhaps im so used to work 3days den off 2days le ba.

hey i really miss those days!!

can i choose to go back?!

6aug thu

went hiring at redhill.

met faridah!

so happy.

had been yrs ever i last met her ba.

aft hiring met nina at city hall mrt.

went ttsh to visit junaina.

this time coz of her kidney tats y admit to ttsh.

8aug sat

finally my first off day of the week.

went jb with dear.

i drove over there.

we went shopping there.

had dinner there.

and wat boils me up is..

we quarrelled over there.

till i was so angry.

believe me.

if tat point of time we're not at jb.

i'll walk off frm where i was.

argh~!!

okie forget it dont talk abt it le.

anw we're fine le.

(:

9aug sun

happy 44th birthday!!

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!!

tats not the point.

wat i wana share is.

perhaps tats the HAPPIEST day working ever since i transferred to centrepoint ba.

coz i was attached back to marina.

although it was really so damn busy.

but we dont feel the busy-ness.

although we all were tired.

but we dont feel the tired-ness.

perhaps its the fun of working.

yup.

its really totally different.

i dont feel wat i felt at marina at centrepoint.

hais wat to do.

i had been complaining for 3mths le.

but life still goes on lah ahh...

anw..

teresa asked me to sign on 3days at marina for the coming F1.

-_-

i forget to tell her might as well transfer me back to marina.

so if got events i'll always be there!

(:

look at our stylesh red-white hair!

lols!!

=D

when will i smile as how i smiled in the pic at work again?

i wana enjoy myself to the fullest during these 3days.

yup im not working.

im on leave.

(:

my wisdom tooth is giving problem.

might need to pluck it off.

argh~

we are really not wat we are in the past le ba.

i salute u tat u can treat as if u dont noe me.

fine.

perhaps thank you once being my GOOD friend.

i really feel damn tired working at centrepoint.

not like in the past working at kallang and marina.

i wont feel the tired no matter how many hrs i worked.

coz there are alot friends ard me.

now at centrepoint.

worked 1 shift like wana die liao.

go home on the dot.

dont feel like staying any longer.

hais.

missing those days at kallang.

missing those days at marina.

hating these days at centrepoint!!!

feeling so depress these few days.

like gonna have depression soon.

thanks jie organising a random dinner.

gave me a chance to L-O-L.

felt better aft laughing.

sounds funny.

but its true.

(: